Leaving The Pieces Behind by R.M. Demeester

Author:R.M. Demeester [Demeester, R.M.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2019-03-19T23:00:00+00:00

Chapter 9

Zina stood beside me as we prepared the day’s food. My heart felt heavy. I didn’t want to be there. The smell of cinnamon lingered in my hair, and I was repulsed by it. I couldn’t get it out even after my shower.

“What’s on your mind?” Zina asked.

I glanced at her as tears threatened to emerge in waves. “Just been a shitty few days.”

When I woke up for work that morning, I noticed Mom had texted me around three in the morning. I give up. I won’t call you again. Those words stung me to my core. She was giving up. A mixture of bitterness and defeat lingered.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Zina asked.

I looked away and rolled the dough. “She keeps abandoning me.” I sucked in a deep breath. “And William told me he loved me and I didn’t say it back.” That thought jumped out of my head, out of nowhere. It had been on my mind too, of course. But I had been trying to suppress it and pretend he never told me.

Zina put her hand on my shoulder. “Take a deep breath, Serenity.”

I stopped and did as she said. I inhaled and exhaled a few times, regaining my composure.

“Now tell me who abandoned you.” Zina returned to her task.

“My mother.” I repeatedly played the events of the day over in my mind. “I hadn’t seen her in a while. She and her boyfriend came to see me. We were having a good day until she abandoned me again.”

I thought ignoring my Mom’s texts and calls would make me feel better, but when she finally stopped attempting to message me, I folded. Even when I kept my distance, she still found a way to hurt me. She always ripped my guts out, tearing my soul apart with every decision she made. One moment she could be patient and admit she was wrong, but somehow she would make me feel like shit again.

Zina didn’t say a word.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered as I turned to focus back on the task at hand. I couldn’t let my personal life interfere with my job. The last thing I needed was to end up on the unemployment line again. That was one part of my life that I had regained some control over.

“Would you like to take the rest of the day off?” Zina asked. “You seem like you need a break.”

I shook my head. “I need the money.” I bit my lip and wiped away the few tear droplets that had fallen down my cheeks and got back to work. “I will shake it off and work. I do need the money.”

Zina nodded. “That’s the spirit.”

One day of pay was easily sixty-five dollars after taxes. That was equal to my bus pass for a full month. The only thing that taking a “me day” would do is cause more stress since I would lack the funds for one more bill.

We worked in silence. I was too afraid to speak, too afraid of crying again.

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